Maybe you’ve noticed the floor hasn’t been swept recently or there are expired groceries in the refrigerator. Perhaps dad hasn’t driven to Church recently. Or Mom is becoming more forgetful and leaving the burner on the stove or the doors unlocked at night.
These are common scenarios people face as their parents age. They aren’t always easy to manage especially if your parents are resistant to help. I meet with families regularly who want their loved ones to have help but for their parents it is scary and unsettling to bring someone into the home to help. They fear losing their independence and freedom.
As we move forward in these discussions, we must acknowledge their fears and develop solutions to their needs that will allow them to maintain their independence with a little extra help. It often starts with compassionate discussions.
Compassionate Discussions With Seniors
When talking with your parents, use phrases like “It must be hard to not be able to do all you like to do”. Allow them to speak after posing these open statements to learn how to help them. Avoid arguments and criticism. Allow for open discussions. Taking control or making care decisions without their buy-in will rarely get positive results. Share your concerns in a calm way. Talk about care options often and early so they can think about it. Keep neutral tones when talking.
You could mention I noticed some expired foods in your refrigerator instead of I don’t think you’re eating well. You can also mention that you need help if you are helping them frequently as they never want to be a burden on you. When kids are upfront with their parents and talk openly about aging-related issues, I also find that this builds trust and respect between all of you which will help ease the stress and strain that sometimes accompanies this stage of life.
Senior Care Options
Families often bring me in to discuss care options in a non-threatening, informative way so that their parents can learn about all the options ElderCare 4 Families can offer. We offer no-obligation, no cost assessments at the client’s home to inform, discuss and develop options to their needs. Call today 502-244-8446 to set up an assessment or learn about more resources to help your loved ones.
